Our Travels

As surely as we pigs can snort
We can travel with our shorts
Since it is the Chinese Year of the Pig
We have escaped our pigpen digs
And the butcher's knife
To enjoy a long life
With sunglasses, cameras and no suitcases
We will visit the world's most interesting places
Chinese New Years is our special date
So we have come to Beijing to celebrate
Although we are gullible and slothful
We pigs are honest and thoughtful
The Chinese have always admired the pig's warmth and sincerity
Qualities they love as it brings in prosperity

Built in the dynasty's of Ming and Qing

The temple of Heaven still stands in Beijing

At China's most holy and sacred place
Our prayers will be answered with grace

On the stairs, and in our shorts of polyester
We call on the spirits of Chinese ancestors

Could their heavenly mandate, quickly correct
This planet's ongoing nuclear threat

Kim Jong-Un, most insane
Is launching nukes, without refrain
Will the heavens interfere
And put an end to this rocketeer

To heighten this spiritual chance
We, pigs, recite a mantra and do a dance

To avoid the butcher's plot
Angkor Vat, was our next trot

The king of Java's stone temple Fantasia
Lies in the jungle of south east Asia

The famous 219 heads of stone 
Are said to be the Buddha's or his own

Under the monk's glares
We descended the stairs

They are quite curious
To see a herd of pink tourists

Their vision didn't distort
They saw the pigs in shorts

The Taj Mahal
Cherished by all
Was built for the Mughal emperor's wife
The mausoleum immortalizes the love of his life

With its pearly white marble walls
It becomes iridescent as night falls
“The Epitome of Love” tomb complex
Is receiving lots of lovers of the same sex

We are two grooms
On our honeymoon
Looking at the pond
We feel something very strong

We, Swine, 
Have something inside, quite divine
It is a quality unreal
For a life time it can stay still

Suddenly it ignites like fire
It is stronger than desire
Love is what we savour
When with the pig of our favour

We had trouble getting a visa
To visit the pyramids of Giza
We stowed on a boat, for a while
And arrived at the mouth of the Nile
After a couple of drinks
We visit the Great Sphinx
He dutifully guards the Pharaoh’s tomb
Although he isn't there
But lies elsewhere
In a museum showroom
The Egyptian tourist guide
Was Pop-eyed
When he saw the pigs in shorts arrive
As clustered as bees in a hive 
With camera equipment, so hi-tech
He certainly didn't expect
Today's clientèle
To have four legs and curled tails

We've been to Egypt's Heliopolis
Now we are visiting the famous Acropolis

Nearby stands the temple called the Erectheion
Dedicated to the gods, Athena and Poseidon

On its south side
Is the porch of the Caryatids

Six stone draped female figures
Hold up the temple, with ancient vigor

We've been told
These ladies are 2,500 years old

Under the sun, walking is so cruel
So we each decided to rent a mule

We come here by air, and by boat
Keeping the Greek economy afloat

Looking at these old stones
Is keeping Greece in the Eurozone

This pigpen is a menace
So we are going to Venice

It's a city built on water
Better than the slaughter

I don't want to hear a sheep crying baa, baa
I’d rather ride on a gondola

Now life is no longer banal
We are on the Grand Canal

Me, and my mates
Are listening to serenades

As surely as a fish can float
A pig can sit in a boat

Venice is the only town
Where missing a step you can drown

Still standing through the millenniums
Is ancient Rome's Coliseum

In 80 ad emperor Vespasian completed
An amphitheater where 80’000 could be seated

The Ancient Romans stirred with delight
To watch gladiators of great might
Engaging with wild beasts in a bloody fight

As the gladiators were gored
The audience clapped and roared

In present days,
With “political correctness” never far away
The gladiators...
rather than being eaten alive
Pose for pictures from nine to five

We, touristic pigs, smile and stroke a gladiator
And secretly heat up like a radiator...

We, the pigs in shorts,

Are visiting a Swiss resort.
We have all sworn,
We would visit the Matterhorn

Every summer alpinists seek
To climb this pyramidal peak
The mountain guide
Took us aside
And suggested we make the climb
Up this murderous ravine
With crampons, ropes and chain knots
We shivered at the thought
‘We haven't the knees’
We'll leave the ascent to the Japanese
We  prefer to graze in the grass
Taking photographs
The shepherd's dog howled
Barked and growled
Because us, promenading sows 
Have scared away his cows​


We are having a great time
Traveling to Liechtenstein
We visited a real Chateau
All built in stone, five centuries ago
The castle looks like a fairy tale
But, inside, royalty goes stale
High born Dukes, there are many
But they have lost all their pennies
Big chambers, noble and bold
The trouble is that it's cold
With us, the Duke is not impressed
But without our visit, he's in a mess
So in the courtyard we meet
Then he can turn up the heat


Our culture will be greatly enhanced
By our visit to the 'Louvre' in France

We are almost delirious
To see the ‘Mona Lisa’, so mysterious

She is the most famous painting in the world
We went with smiles and tails curled

But before we could get in
Our prospects suddenly turned grim

The line is a four hour wait
So tiredly we stood, until it was late

None too soon,
And, finally in her room

We struggled for a view
Granted to only a few

A peek was all we could grasp
Of her world famous smile, behind glass


Could we ever dream 
That we are seeing the Queen

On her birthday parade
Despite precautions made
We closely approach
Her stage coach

Her Royal Majesty, is out on a stroll
After the election polls
To the great dismay
Of Theresa May
And the Tories astonishment 
The election ended in a hung parliament
On her special day
She waves us away
She'd rather be with her dogs
Than us, curious hog


We rush to the Academy ‘s exhibition
Showing an 18 century artist, of worthy recognition

The Swiss painter Jean-Etienne Liotard
Painted aristocrats in their boudoir

His portraits were painted in soft pastels
He captured clothing in exquisite detail

We pigs, can almost feel the texture
Of his delicate lace, silk and fur

He painted European women, lounging
In oriental surroundings
Richly draped in embroidered satin
He fueled the Orientalist fashion
To celebrate this Swiss artist’s retrospective
We pigs have been selective
From beautiful "Schweiz"
We bought our tickets online, for half price
And wear our shorts of Edelweiss

When we, Pigs, are at leisure 
Hunting big game is our pleasure

We ride around in a big green jeep
Shooting animals, half asleep

The lions were numb
Seeing us pigs with a gun

Our adrenaline is galvanized
What will we, Pigs, bring home as a prize?
A lion s head, or a buffalo s hide?
After a bath of arsenic sulfide and chloride
Our trophy will be hung with pride
Aside others deers, zebras and a bear
Forever our trophies will stare,
With glass eyes, after their demise
On a wall, in a New-York high rise

From the deck of our boat
We stood, in front, to gloat

At New York 's Statue of Liberty  
We are now free from the butcher and tyranny

She is the biggest statue we ever saw
With her pedestal
She stands 305 feet tall
Weighing 450,000 pounds in all

While on our way to relocation
It was to us, an exhilaration

To see the Statue of Liberty
Inspiring democracy and opportunity

Here, we will be rich hogs
No longer treated like dogs

With Trump's new era of law and order
We might not get past the border


It is hard to ignore
When your house is on the floor

That humanity has given its assistance
To these frequent hurricanes' growing persistence

They have reached monster size
Everything in their path is neutralized

Gathering more force and motion
From rising sea levels and hot oceans

They prepare for a new landfall
To the dismay of one and all

We, pigs, use nature's solution
To avoid our destitution

Though it may seem absurd
 We will do, as the "birds"
We will grow wings and fly
Into the middle of the hurricane's eye
Safe and sound
Until we reach new  ground

The ancient Hindu yogis believed
Through meditation
And contemplation
Pure awareness can be achieved
A single pointed concentration
of sustained duration
Will focus the mind, so scattered!
And stop it’s senseless chatter...
When there is stillness of the mind
The third eye, that was blind
Will open, and radiate
It is the gate
To the enlightened state
We pigs, want to become ’Awake’
Shed our minds, so opaque
But sitting here to daybreak
Is making our backs ache

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